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Small Screen to Print – Marvel Comics Re-Introduces Reptil

This is a Marvel Comics’ Reptil Post…

Super Hero Squad: Reptil

I do not watch Super Hero Squad. It’s Marvel’s attempt to capture younger readers and paddle plastic variant crap to toddlers and unfortunately I am not keen on Super-deformed Thor unless he comes with Ares. I first saw the show I thought it had promise, but I was sort of bothered by the Dora the Explorer meets minority Superfriend which is Reptil. It just didn’t make sense to me why Marvel (who produces the show) would create this Bedrock boy.

Was it because the only other Hispanic characters Marvel owns are either closet gay men, religious fanatics, or openly gay men?

Did Silverclaw‘s backstory involving abandonment, human trafficking and British butlers named Jarvis seem too “real” for kids?

Avengers: The Initiative Presents: Reptil

Avengers The Initiative Presents: Reptil

Would children be confused about a killer robot impregnating a human woman with his ultron-seed?

Whatever the reason affirmative action, Marvel Entertainment created Reptil and are now pushing him and he’s raptor claws down our throats.

Here is why I don’t like dat shit:

1) DC Comics did it first and did it right. When Harley Quinn and Terry McGuinness were introduced to viewers, the viewers weren’t under the age of 10. How does a child follow the exploits of Reptil in 616 Marvel without seeing one of his friends be raped, maimed, or murdered? I mean this is what Marvel does now (see every young superhero ever besides Power Pack).

2) Dinosaur powers do not translate well in comics. Think about it. Name one Dino-powered hero that is still alive and kicking? Name one that is even featured in a comic right now with the exception of Reptil? You can’t and that’s what I thought. Dino-powers are silly and we already have enough silliness with talking gorillas with guns.

Reptil is White Beast Boy

Reptil looks like "white" Beast Boy

3) Mike McKone’s redesign was out done by a design aimed at 7 year olds. LOOK AT IT! I’d take the Super Hero Squad Reptil design (over-sized head and all) over McKone’s dull and extremely forgettable redesign. In fact, what is the deal with Marvel and terrible superhero costumes lately? Don’t  believe me? See every recently redesign X-Men costume right now! Go ahead, I’ll wait…

4) I want everyone who isn’t a Young Avengers to get Scarlet Witch’d. Even though Yost and Craig killed off like a billion teenage mutants (with help from Bendis mind you) ,there are still like hundreds of super-powered teen characters! I don’t even feel like the Young Avengers are special anymore. They are either getting shot at by the government, having their name and bow taken away, or left hanging with an unopened paternity test (where is Maury?). Why isn’t one of Marvel most demanded and beloved young superhero team getting the treatment they deserve?

5) He’s a character following the legacy of a terrible z-list supervillain, Stegron the Dinosaur Man. Why couldn’t he be the illegitimate son of Devil Dinosaur and Moon Boy? That would be interesting  and make for a really good Nextwave character (I miss when comics were good).

I guess I can bask in the glow that is early cancellation for Reptil and the rest of these Heroic Age teen books. Congratulation Reptil, you like most tv child stars will end up either dead or useless. Good luck with that!

2 Responses

  1. Great article AA, hilarious and completely true.
    Dino-powers sound cool in concept, just not in execution I guess.

    There were a few more Hispanic Marvel characters you forgot about though…. El Aguila and The skateboarding X-Force member… i guess both are dead now though.

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