I feel old and straight.

What do you tell friends when they constantly remind you of how "cute" you are with someone who you don’t even know what you feel for anymore. Granted, I do love him but there is this longing for more and I sort of feel like a dick because these feelings started the moment he went back to school. I just didn’t picture at 26 I would hear my boyfriend bitch about reading Beowulf and constantly telling all the things we can’t do anymore. Maybe the media and Morrissey are to blame for my problems. The media feed me this lie that if I found the one I loved and actually got them, I would live in this extreme whimsical life of long glances and Morrissey promised me self-doubt and eternal longing for something that is never achieveable. Life sucks when you get what you want, you no longer have anything to bitch about wanting and you can’t push the self-destruct button when other depend on you.