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Well last weekend Dan and I went to see Regina and it was such a great show and it was nice seeing Danny actually happy. Really happy. He and I have been doing some thinking and talking lately. I’m thinking of applying for a job directly at Bellsouth but in New Orleans. I hope Dan comes with me but I told him he has to make his own choices. It was really rude of his mother to just invited herself into our conversation about a possible future and then tell him New Orleans (aka ME) wouldn’t be good for him. I don’t know why she has such a strong need to be his most loved person but I’m not going to compete. It is silly and I have no chances in winning against a mother who has an early expiration date on her (that was cruel but so is trying to get him to go to North Carolina because you know a place where you know no one is a better for someone suffering from severe depression than somewhere you know and actually love).

He’s scared nothing will change. He will be just depressed in another city. And the truth is moving isn’t going to make him any less depressed in its self but maybe actually getting some real world experience away from manic mommy and dodgy dad will do him some good. Regardless, I’m going. I can’t live here any longer. I finished school and I know where I feel at home. It’s a city that when I’m there my heart actually sings and the people are distant relatives who I’ve been dying to meet. Atlanta…Georgia was never that. Atlanta was a place I was dragged too not somewhere I wanted to be.

Dan, just happens to be the person I want to be there with and if it never ends the way we would both like, at least I will be somewhere I want to be and can’t just start fresh and forget this terribly dull dream called…

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