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Nukaka Antonumi. Nukaka jariwan mana kulkita charinchu.

Being here is like being in a prison especially when it is raining. It is so gray and no matter what I try to focus on it never seems to give me what I might need to move on. I ran into Brian Cowan today and damn near burst into laughter at the whole idea of him as a person -how in the hell did I A) Find him attractive and B) Think there could have been anything there- the whole picking blokes up on the net and dicking around with them just really grossed me out. The only thing I am happy about right now is learning Spanish and Quechua -which I am picking up at a very quick pace-. The motherbox the Highmother sent got lost yet again. The fucking postal service in New Jersey is terrible -but so is the postal service here in Carrollton-. I mean they lose everything from checks -which has happen many times when I was working at the Water Authority- to huge boxes full of mommy’s love -I fucking hate NJ postal service-.

New Orleans was still beautiful despite what has happened. It was depressing to see so many houses destroyed and lives shattered but being there for me was really healing. Dan seemed to be taken as well, we were both hell-bent on returning but realized ultimately we should leave, plan out some things, and return. We are going in December and March as well, I look foward to seeing Andy and Bek and torturing them with “Snaps” again. Good times.

Love has done me some good despite my refusal to accept and trust it.

Death has made me realize I am not inhuman and I will die but hopefully not soon.

Reading has helped me find miracles and vengence in the most unlikely of place.

Television has taught me that life really is weirder than fiction.

– Alillachu kangui.

– Nuka mana alillami kani.

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