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House of Mysteries and A Revolt on Authority!

House of M
Just as I did with Morrison’s wonderfully penned New X-Men run, I have decided to take a look at one of my favorite storyline from the people at Marvel: The House of M. Brian Michael Bendis has really out done himself with this mini-series. The emotion he captures is just amazing. I have always disliked Scarlet Witch, Quicksilver, Magneto, and especially Polaris (even more so when she was crazed) but after reading this title I realize how much can be done with these characters. Oliver Copiel does a wonderful job with the art as well. His work on this project outshines his work on Legion of Superheroes and Uncanny X-Men. He has given us possibly the best rendering of Marvel’s major heroes. There are other things to be said I suppose about this storyline how it will fix the over abundance of mutants(only 198 will remain) and finally fix a lot of what the writers previously did (like killing and resurrecting Jean Grey several times and mutant angels/demons) but I’d like to throw out my ideas for what the ending will reveal: My major guesses for what will happen at the end of House of M is that BMB will reveal that the whole multiple Magnetos (Magneto, Xorneto, and Mag Lite) are all constructs of Scarlet Witch’s powers. I think that the real Magneto actually died during “E is for Extinction” and was resurrected by the Scarlet Witch. I also believed that Polaris will be revealed not to be Magneto’s daughter and due to Scarlet Witch’s compassion for what Polaris witnessed during the attack on Genosha, she subconsciously gave Polaris her one wish: to be Magneto’s daughter. The only complaint I have with this storyline is: where the fuck are the Inhumans, namely Quicksilver and Crystal’s daughter: Luna. How could Scarlet Witch alter the world and give everyone their one desire and Quicksilver and his wife are not together and his daughter is completely gone. Yeah, Pietro has been a terribly emotionally abusive husband and a neglectful father but wouldn’t he want that to be changed so he could finally stop making the same mistakes his father made with him. Also where was Magda and Anya (Magneto’s wife and oldest daughter), were they to remain dead in order for Magneto to be the King of the world? I mean Uncle Ben and Gwen Stacy are alive and yet Spiderman is the most beloved superhero. Also why resurrect so many other random mutants such as Magik and Synch? Why? Especially if they are going to be deconstructed again from this reality. I understand why Hawkeye would be resurrected but why all these random mutants?!

The Authority Revolutions
Ok, I love the Authority. Period. It was the first title I read by Warren Ellis and from that point on I fell in love not only with his writing but with the characters he created to show how superhero comics should be. That was in 1998, it is 2005 and the title is suffering. This partly because of terrible writing, horrible art, and completely missing the point of the title, this is where Ed Brubaker and Dustin Nguyen come in. When this title was relaunch exactly one year ago as a mini-series I was excited. I had read some of Ed’s previous work and loved what Dustin did with the visuals in Wildcats 3.0, so I thought this is going to rock my socks. I read the first six issues amazed at what was being done with the characters. Finally someone had realized the Authority goals were never to rule the world only to make a better one. Ed gave us a glimpse into what could happen if they were allowed to continue as rulers of the worlds. However by issue seven it felt like Ed gave up. Yeah I loved the progession of Jenny Quantum in something other than Dues Ex Machina for previous writers and also I loved that we finally were told what Jenny could do and who previous Jennys were (my personal favorite was Jenny Steam *^__^*) but Bendix back from the dead (no wait from the Bleed…*>__<*)! And to top it off you find out he has been masterminding this plot since the beginning. There was no future where Midnighter was a dictator and the others were murdered off, Midnighter had been tricked and very easily if you ask me. But wait there is more Rose Tattoo is back but she isn't the cold, silent killing machine, she is a fourteen year old who fucks Bendix and talks way too much. What the fuck!? Rose Tattoo, the bleedin' Spirit of Murder was pathetic. Though this may have been what he was going for she just seemed so ill reinvented and to make things even more horrific, the Doctor was killed! My Doctor was killed! Yes I know the character is a homage to all the Doctors of magic in comics and Doctor Who (who is constantly being killed and reconfigured in a new form), I am very upset. The Doctor and Swift have been so disrespected (Swift gets smacked around all the fucking time) since Ellis left the title and this topped it off for me. This is the moment Ed lost me completely; a good story turned to crap by alternate reality bad guys and a good Doctor killed from a blowjob from the lolita of murder. The fight between Midnighter and the Authority did really make me stop and think though, especially the fight between Apollo and Bat…I mean Midnighter in his Midnight-Masher or whatever that was. Seeing that fight really did envoke some feelings of the Dark Knight Returns that I could have done without. Midnighter is not Batman and Apollo is not Superman. The way Ed wrote them just set them back as characters even more and since when is Apollo vulnerable to cold? Just because someone feeds off of sunlight doesn't mean being hit with a frost beam would hurt him. And you gave the Engineer nano-Aids? Fucking NANO-AIDS?! Ed, you could have done better than that! Look at what you are doing with good ol' Cap. America, you turned a character and a title I had never planned on reading in a powerhouse for Marvel currently but you can't do that with the Authority? And destorying the Carrier and making Habib the new Doctor turn Lolita Tattoo into the Spirit of Life was just fucking ridiculous! If the fucking Spirit of Murder is now the Spirit of Life, what the fuck is going influence all the mass-murders for the next 100 years or so? I mean she is a Century baby after all and their jobs are to influence, protect, save, and destroy the universe in order to create a balance. They have jobs and now that this new Doctor took it upon himself to just ignore the rules of the universe shouldn't there have been some sort of backlash or something? Century babies are outside of the system of the rest of the world, how could he possibly affect her? The old Doctor couldn't save Jenny Sparks but this new one can alter the whole purpose for a Century baby? Absolutebullshit sir and this is why the Authority isn't where is should be. This title could be one of the top-selling comics again but it is as if the writers are trying to destroy it.

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