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I’ll have your head for this Mr Johanson

Well I am here at work once more with little to nothing to do but drink large amounts of coffee, sketch on important documents, and listen to easy listening that is driving me absolutely nutty. However on the bright side I will be getting paid tomorrow and possibly spending a large amount of money on myself simply because I feel like it. Oh once again someone called my work in the middle of the morning and me being the person I am my cellphone screamed bloody murder to a pre-set “dazzle” ring tone. I was extremely annoyed to find out it was in fact my mother calling me to tell me about the good ol’ fashion Jersey crab boil I will be attending tonight instead of doing God knows what instead. I am really getting tired of all this grabbing at me from everyone in my family as well as the catty remarks of old women…

A woman at work today told me pleated pants are not attractive on a man which I responded “Wow it sounds like someone has been watching queer eye, good for you” and proceeded to walk into the bathroom and make obscene gestures at the door. It was just told me in such a “I’m doing you a favor here because you don’t seem to realize” sort of way that I absolutely decided I will from this moment on go silent at work for the remaining 11 days I will be in this office. Yes I know she is right about pleated pants but from the moment I bought them I planned on disposing of these pants along with all my others which I bought on sale at that irregular store. Also I keep getting crap from growing up in Parlin. It is like because my parents could afford to move from Orange to Parlin when I was like 8 that I have been branded with this mark of thinking I am better than those who grew up and let’s say…Jersey City or Elizabeth. Speaking of Elizabeth, my (former) closest cousin West is having his 21st birthday party and I decided I am not going simply because I don’t want too. I would like to go but he and I are two completely different people these days with two different life plans (mine involves not going to prison and/or dying before I’m 35). I really thought last week that he and I would still be like when we were kids and from what my mother told me he did as well but it seems throwing fireworks into ovens and ripping off video stores is no longer either one of our ideas of fun. I am sorry I don’t want to get completely wasted and stalk around for the fair sex (I would like to do both but that is not the point). I guess even though it was nice to see him and all my other family, I think I have changed too much to continue to be a part of the way things are going for a lot of them.

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