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Comic Past, No Laughing [Grey] Matter



When I was a kid, some of my favorite comic books were the ones that either emulated Superman or made fun of superheroes in general. I would read books like Astro Boy, Power of Shazam, and The Mighty Thor to visit my imaginary friends. The friends made of paper but always managed to be able to bounce bullets off of their chest, however like any group of good friends, I always enjoyed watching them make complete asses of themselves to simply amuse me. I do this still to a degree not with all of my friends but I do have friends who sole purpose is to bring me incredibly joy through their own buffoon antics. This is a character flaw I had not thought of until now, which is odd because it was so obvious I should have realized I was only friends with Michael Depretta and Hugh Whatever-His-Last-Name-Was, because they were slow-witted and always lacked the common sense most people take advantage of. This is horrible I know but the point I’m trying to make is, you can be friends with people simply for selfish reasons be it for lustful encounters, close comfort, or the occasional laugh. I can not think of one person of the top of my head that I currently engage in friendly manner with who fits any of these attributes but I guess one could assume that is how I felt/feel about Dan. I was lonely over the summer and I guess so was he and we found something to bond over, there has always been a connection there that I picked up on the first time I saw him. He was 15 and I had just turned 17. Joe had invited me to his house for the weekend, Christopher was incredibly scared of Joe’s presence in my life and developed a disliking for him, why Christopher would feel threaten by anyone beside himself in that time in my life, I have no idea. So Joe and I set off, there was lots of talking in the car and during that trip was the first time Joe “lent” me money. Of course, he’ll never be paid back but what are friends for? We had made it to his house around five or so on a Friday with John and the ever adorably Jewish Lee Katz. This was my first time meeting John and would prove to be the beginning which would eventually lead to John and I enter a javaic marriage ceremony at Innovox a mere two years later (how time flies), this meeting with Lee however began with hatred. I found Lee annoying and overbearing, he was the total sum of being raised by two overbearingly nice Jewish parents. Lee was the polar opposite of me and after examining my uncontrollable hatred for him, I realized I had truly fallen in “love” but I digress on this subject. We entered into Joe’s house to find “Dan-Dan” masturbating furiously in the living without pants on. By the time he realized we had come in he did (I assume) the best thing he could think of at the time and wrap an old quilt around his waist as a make-shift skirt. He was a sight to behold. I could do nothing but smile at him realizing his utter embarrassment at being found in such a position. I had never once seen anyone look so pathetic, yet so adorable until John decided to ask for a hug from Dan. This hug had become a ritual there after for John and Dan, even I had subjected him to many hugs to recall the day’s event but he knew I meant well because I had instantly grown attach to him. Fast forward two year later, Dan and I are camping and things get drunkenly weird. I had never once thought the events of that night would happen, despite my advances and my extremely forward nature, I had never thought of Dan and I on a “physical” level. Well that night was to lead to an even odder morning. Things got weird but I for some reason, instead of my usual duck-and-cover response, had instead decided to take an interest in Dan. I told him my secrets while he showed me his soul. As the years went by and my now dissolved affiliations with Christopher had final come to an end, Dan and I grew closer and until finally I said “I love you” and it was easily returned. Things were fun the times leading up to that, in fact I think I honestly told him I loved him and he realized he loved me was the day aftwe my fall at Kira’s party. The Big Fall of ’04 as I like to call it, had become a time of incredible pain but of joy as well. It was like giving birth but like giving birth of course there can be complications. I’m currently suffering from the afterbirth, the part of labor where you are still pushing even though the gift had already been push out. I say I’m over it because I believe I am. I say my head and heart are one entity but they aren’t. I try really hard to stop thinking and feeling but I feel because I know what I’m touching is real but I resist. It’s funny how this post started in childhood and moving it’s way to the present situation in my life. Maybe Freud had the right idea, all those childhood events inevitably lead to creating who we will be in the future. If only I could find a way to time travel, I guess I need to start looking for a Delorean and a good doctor to go back and fix what is ailing me.

Back to the Future’s Past it is…then.

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