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I awake to find…

I woke up this morning and I was not feeling good. I saw that boy while I was on the way to the library today, you know the one with the dark care-free hair, dark eyes, and great smile who I call Elvis Costello. Anyway, I deduced that I make him feel uneasy. You think it would be great because honestly that is what I set out to do after I realized he was a heterosexual, but it feels odd. I didn’t mean to make him so uncomfortable that he seeks comfort in inanimate objects when we just happen to walk around each other. I am still not sure how I managed to do that without saying a word to him even once. I am gifted I suppose. I want to apologize but what would I apologize for? Looking at him? Being outrageously myself when he is near? I don’t know maybe I’ll just finally bite the bullet and say it, seriously what could happen? I guess him being creeped out more…oh well maybe I should.

Moving on, I think I have a crush on that neurotic girl from Peachtree City. She just so likable, you know? We run into each and talk about art and drinking. She is like me with a vagina. I like that.

Urgh and on all other fronts, I realized that by talking to Jose I have given him this notation that I may in fact be interested in him when in reality the only reason I talked to him was to prove to Desi she was wrong about me being shallow. But it turns out she was right, talking to Jose leaves a nasty taste in my mouth and those eyes of his I don’t like what the may be saying to his brain about me…double urgh.

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