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Junky Fixes

Speedway Junky starring Jesse Bradford is probably the worse movie ever. I can not believe I watched it a second ago. I mean I have seen some bad movies like Fantastic Four, Queen of the Damned, and Glitter but this movie…I can not believe how horrible it is. I actually cringed in parts because I just thought it was awful.

And what the fuck! Johnny just left Eric there to die? The guy he supposedly cared about so incredibly much, I would not even leave a dog to just die and then he goes on to be a pit crew worker after hitting the jack pot! Johnny was an unbelievably bad trick also and I know tricks! Hell I was rescued by one after daring to hit the Atlanta’s seedy underbelly at the tender age of 16 (now Mark was a good trick I wonder how life is doing for him, he was really smart I always felt sorry for him). Also in what bizarro universe do women pay for sex and the music (urgh Zebrahead had better music). Oh be still my bitter, bitter heart, I watched this bloody movie hoping for a little boy and boy action and all I got was this “I love you but you aren’t a woman, sorry” bull shit! I mean come on! Believe!

The only thing I will praise this movie for is the lovely appearance of Warren G! I can not believe the rapstar of the mid-90’s landed himself such a great part as the tactless thug! His two lines were the most powerful. I know if I ever write a movie and I need a little black man yell at Jonathan Taylor Thomas (I can not believe lots people thinks he’s cute), I will call Warren G!

I will say this though after watching this movie I developed a boyish crush on Jesse Bradford, I guess I’ll have to watch his fantastic performance in “Hackers” as the nervous hacker kid who accidently hacks the system and “Clockstoppers” as the nervous science kid who accidently stops the time, or maybe even Swinfan as the nervous swim kid who accidently make a girl love him…so many award-winning movie to choose!

Actually I have changed my mind…he reminds me too much of Colin Farrell and I swore I’d have my revenege on him! Damn you Colin Farrell you foiled me again!
Damn! Damn! Damn!

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