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I just got back from a walk around campus (I can’t sleep so I’m trying to find things to do). It’s odd how the wind blowing a certain way or how cold it is will remind you of someone. It’s odd because I have not thought about Evan since his birthday in September, however for some reason I went outside and he was the first thing to pop in my head. I want to call him and see how he’s doing, but I know that would just lead to me hurting him again or saying something nasty to each other because of past actions. It’s odd but I’ve ran away from normal relationships like some people run from the law. I know I wasn’t wrong for ending it with Evan (I was just wrong on how I did it) but sometimes when I’m laying in bed at night, I think about how nice it would’ve been to have all those things that he wanted for us. I could be a whole different person.

I wish that I could be Mother Teresa of Calcutta.

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